HOW WOULD YOU KNOW YOU'RE AT A FILIPINO PARTY?

You're an hour late and there's still nobody there!

There’s enough food to feed the Philippines .

You can't even get through the door because there's a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.

You see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Nino, and a barrel man.

They're singing "Peelings" on karaoke.

There's a piano in the living room for decoration.

You are greeted by a Tita Baby and/or a Tito Boy.

The older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, or poker or 31, the women are in the kitchen gossiping, or are playing mahjong,the other people are in the entertainment room singing karaoke, and the kids are outside the streets running around unsupervised.

There's goat 'pulutan' beeing cooked.

There's a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away and yelling, "Uy, peeeek-chuuur!"

You enter a family party and you "Mano" to half the old crowd and when you leave you have to say goodbye to EVERYONE that's related to you as a sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.

You know you're at a Filipino party when you hear a male's voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra's "My Way".

Women are still doing the line dance to "todo todo "..

When there's at least one or more with the name : JP,JJ, JT,TJ,DJ,AJ, RJ,LJ, Lingling, Bingbing, Tingting, Dingding, Wengweng, Bongbong, Dongdong etc.

All the old aunties and guests are already wrapping up food to take home.

You have the Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70" LCD in the movie room,
The 10 yr old 50" CRT in the living room,
The 15 yr old 30" tube in the breakfast nook,
The 20 yr old 15" tube in the kitchen,
The 30 yr old 13" tube in the garage
And the Little portable by the BBQ grill,
Because TVs are NEVER retired in a Filipino household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn't have a TV yet(hahaha),then it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at the house again.

The aunties & guests are showing off their "designer" Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap-meet.

Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you're not sure if she's the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss them on the cheek anyway.

Relatives/friends will ask you where you work and if it's a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they'll ask if you can get them a discount.

The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.

They play achy-breaky heart over and over again.

I like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night !!


* got this email from my uncle and it gave me smile so i just thought of sharing this with you guys.

GOOD FACTS TO KNOW

GOOD FACTS TO KNOW:
1. Budweiser beer conditions the hair
2. Pam cooking spray will dry finger nail polish
3. Cool whip will condition your hair in 15 minutes
4. Mayonnaise will KILL LICE, it will also condition your hair
5. Elmer's Glue - paint on your face, allow it to dry, peel off and see the dead skin and blackheads if any

6. Shiny Hair - use brewed Lipton Tea
7. Sunburn - empty a large jar of Nestea into your bath water
8. Minor burn - Colgate or Crest toothpaste
9. Burn your tongue? Put sugar on it!
10. Arthritis? WD-40 Spray and rub in, kill insect stings too

11 Bee stings - meat tenderizer
12. Chigger bite - Preparation H
13. Puffy eyes - Preparation H
14. Paper cut - crazy glue or chap stick (glue is used instead of sutures at most hospitals)
15. Stinky feet -Jello !

16. Athletes feet - cornstarch
17. Fungus on toenails or fingernails - Vicks vapor rub
18. Kool aid to clean dishwasher pipes. Just put in the detergent section and run a cycle, it will also clean a toilet. (Wow, and we drink this stuff)
19. Kool Aid can be used as a dye in paint also Kool Aid in Dannon plain yogurt as a finger paint, your kids will love it and it won't hurt them if they eat it!
20. Peanut butter - will get scratches out of CD's! Wipe off with a coffee filter paper

21. Sticking bicycle chain - Pam no-stick cooking spray
22. Pam will also remove paint, and grease from your hands! Keep a can in your garage for your hubby
23. Peanut butter will remove ink from the face of dolls
24. When the doll clothes are hard to put on, sprinkle with corn starch and watch them slide on
25. Heavy dandruff - pour on the vinegar !

26. Body paint - Crisco mixed with food coloring. Heat the Crisco in the microwave, pour in to an empty film container and mix with the food color of your choice!
27 Tie Dye T-shirt - mix a solution of Kool Aid in a container, tie a rubber band around a section of the T-shirt and soak
28. Preserving a newspaper clipping - large bottle of club soda and cup of milk of magnesia , soak for 20 min. and let dry, will last for many years!
29. A Slinky will hold toast and CD's!
30. To keep goggles and glasses from fogging, coat with Colgate toothpaste

31. Wine stains, pour on the Morton salt and watch it absorb into the salt.
32. To remove wax - Take a paper towel and iron it over the wax stain, it will absorb into the towel.
33. Remove labels off glassware etc. rub with Peanut butter!
34. Baked on food - fill container with water, get a Bounce paper softener and the static from the Bounce towel will cause the baked on food to adhere to it. Soak overnight. Also; you can use 2 Efferdent tablets , soak overnight!
35. Crayon on the wall - Colgate toothpaste and brush it!

36. Dirty grout - Listerine
37. Stains on clothes - Colgate toothpaste
38. Grass stains - Karo Syrup
39. Grease Stains - Coca Cola , it will also remove grease stains from the driveway overnight. We know it will take corrosion from car batteries!
40. Fleas in your carpet? 20 Mule Team Borax- sprinkle and let stand for 24 hours. Maybe this will work if you get them back again.
41. To keep FRESH FLOWERS longer Add a little Clorox , or 2 Bayer aspirin , or just use 7-up instead of water.

42. When you go to buy bread in the grocery store, have you ever wondered which is the freshest, so you 'squeeze' for freshness or softness? Did you know that bread is delivered fresh to the stores five days a week? Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Each day has a different color twist tie.
They are:
Monday = Blue
Tuesday = Green
Thursday = Red
Friday = White
Saturday = Yellow.
So if today was Thursday, you would want a red twist tie; not white which is Fridays (almost a week old)! The colors go alphabetically by color Blue- Green - Red - White - Yellow, Monday through Saturday. Very easy to remember. I thought this was interesting. I looked in the grocery store and the bread wrappers DO have different twist ties, and even the ones with the plastic clips have different colors. You learn something new ev eryday! Enjoy fresh bread when you buy bread with the right color on the day you are shopping.

Don't forget Gatorade for Migraine Headaches. PowerAde won't work. Pass this information on to friends so they can be informed.